Day 112Rolled around in bed all day. Then headed out with mom to the super market then nanas and pop pops. Nana still bein a baby abt Krupp bless her. Definitely not changing doctors so she can be hardheaded. Got approached by Norma to change her doctor like I really need to her to stop with the pity party Ate the rest of the Mac n cheese. More y/my mom drama that I some how always get out into the mix by my ain’t for some reason like wow Thankfully it burns a lot less thinking of their delusional reasoning over there. Cause I got other thangs to worry bout like Marleny maybe coming back up sooner
So of course B overslept in the morning. I don’t know why we plan morning things. Felt bad I got my mom up. By 10 when he didn’t respond I gave up and mom and I headed out. We went to shop rite cause target and Marshall’s were closed due to the holiday. Good prices and we bought a big turkey breast. So good.
Took a nap.
Went to Aunt Joanie and Monique’s. Told them about the fiasco. Then to Newark. They already were high. Could only have decent convo with K she good peoples.
She left early we went up to castle. I just felt really disconnected on an in sync or spiritual feeling at all. Super odd and alienating. I should learn not to care about how I’m perceived by others. Slept in the dining room til B woke me to try again in his bed room by that time I was sleepy af but it was a bit better.
He said he saw my ancestor rocking me earlier. That’s a beautiful thought.
Went and got dresser today. Lao stopped by nanas and pop pops for a check that ain’t come.
They had gooood potatoes. Too late (or so we thought to wash clothes)
Did nothing ate well-ish. Feeling fertile and I hope I snap out of it before Sunday.
"To dare is to lose one’s footing momentarily. To not dare is to lose oneself."
Went to bring pop pop some medicine, nana her prescriptions and both groceries. I’m so thankful to God to have my grandparents fully present in my life. Me my mom and my grands wTched tv for a bit. Stopped by target on the way home. And aunt Brenia’s. Pleasant day.
"Today I bent the truth to be kind, and I have no regret, for I am far surer of what is kind than I am of what is true."
Watched Cinderella today. Did nothing all day. Rolled around in my bed and such.
No bees though. So thank God for that.
Uncle Roscoe’s wake. Day started off well enough. Then all hell broke loose.
Jokingly brought up that we the cousins would have gotten a tombstone for our grandfather by now which bothered my mom. But instead of saying in bothered she flipped cause Y used the word trifling. It was unnecessary.
Thought things quieted down but then they got on another subject. And even though what my mom was saying made sense if was the wrong time and wrong way to say it.
Made my mom realize all this so she apologized. And even though she tried to absolve herself of some responsibility I’m glad in the end she owned up to it.
If only that could’ve been it. But of course in Y’s true woe is me immature fashion she twitter ranted. Ridiculous considering it’s from a phone my mother pays for.
All day convos ensue about the nonsense. In between there I ate healthily went to the super market and retook blood at the doctors office.
Day 1o3 April 13th
Got up early to load my dirty clothes and also get James to shut my window. Fast forward still wasn’t shut all the way. Had chicken breast and broccoli for breakfast. I slept a while and wasted my day away like how I do sometimes. But it’s ok.
Picked up y from her work. Why can’t things ever be simple?